Girl or Boy???

Okay, as most of you know we have been talking about adopting our "daughter" for quite some time now. We've told all our friends, family, and our agency that we want a girl 0-12 months in age. We are currently on the waiting list as open to a girl only from this age range. Our original thinking was that we already have a son so a daughter would make our family complete. So why am I even thinking about a boy?

Well, my thoughts began to change a few months ago. It started when I was telling my dental hygienist about our adoption plans. She is pregnant and asked if we were planning on any more children. I told her yes, we were in the process of adopting, and that we will be adopting a girl. She casually asked if we would consider a boy, and I said no that we really wanted a girl. But, for days after we had this conversation I kept thinking, "Would I consider a boy?"

Then a few weeks later I again was sharing our adoption news with a parent from one of my Kindermusik classes. She has a daughter and is trying to get pregnant again. She explained that she wanted to have another girl because she felt it was important for her daughter to have a sister, because she didn't have a sister growing up. Well, that got me thinking even more! Wouldn't it be great for Sam to have that brotherly bond with a sibling and vice versa?

Then I had a dream about meeting our child for the first time at the orphanage and in my dream our child was a boy! I also began picturing in my mind our child as a boy. I discussed my feelings with Charles and he said he hadn't really thought about a boy, because I've been talking girl for so long. We discussed it a little bit but didn't really make any decisions to change our preference.

In the meantime, I'm praying about the girl/boy question and waiting on God to give me direction. Charles' parents came over to visit a few weeks ago and out of the blue, his mom asked "Are you sure you want a girl and not a boy?" What? This is coming from the woman who has said repeatedly she would like another granddaughter. Okay God, are you trying to tell me something?

I firmly believe that God speaks to us through a variety of ways: our desires, our natural abilities, through circumstances, divine revelation, and even through others. I think we decided on a girl without really praying about it and now God is dealing with me about my decision. Honestly, when I look into my heart I see another son. I think Charles and I need to talk some more....