This week, I emailed our coordinator to find out what kind of progress we had made on the waiting list thus far. We are now #162. However I received some firm reminders 1. not to worry about this number 2. that our wait time was still the same, 3 .waiting times can and will change while we are in the process 4.they will let us know if anything changes.
Is any of this news to me? No. Is knowing our number going to speed up the process or does it really mean anything at all? No. But do I enjoy tracking the number of referrals each month and hearing a concrete affirmation from someone other than myself that we are actually making progress on this long journey? Absolutely!
Think of it this way. When I was pregnant with Sam, the doctor gave me one of those booklets that tells a week by week account of how your baby is growing from conception to delivery. You know the, on week so and so the baby is the size of a peanut, type of thing. Does knowing this information effect the outcome of a woman's pregnancy at all? No. Does it make the pregnancy shorter or the delivery come sooner? No. Is there any reason to know this trivial information at all? No. But is it fun to know? Yeah. Does it make the process seem real (hey I'm really pregnant and have a living thing inside me the size of a grape although I do not look or really feel pregnant at all) ? Oh yeah.
But of course as a woman's pregnancy progresses, she does start feeling pregnant, looking pregnant, and doesn't need any other third-party validation or confirmation that her baby is on its way. Not so for us pre-adoptive parents. The first month of our wait can look just like the third or the seventh or the nineteenth. I personally think it's just nice to have some outside validation that yes our day is coming. Yes, this is real. We are adopting a child. Our day is coming when our family will be complete. That's why I want to know the numbers.
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