Dumb Things People Say

Note: I originally wrote this before we left for Ethopia but did not post it. Since we've been home, I've had more really irritating conversations and honestly I'm just taking this time to vent a little.


I am amazed by people's ignorance. Really.

This week, I was talking to one of my elderly client's about our adoption. She's always asking questions about what's going on and she has seemed genuinely interested in my family and our daughter. Until this week. She said, "Now tell me what country it is again." I replied Ethiopia. And her expression changed dramatically and she said, "Oh, Susan (very pitifully) Do you know she'll be black?" I was dumb struck. I know I hesitated to collect my thoughts, but then I smiled and said, "Yes ma'am, she's beautiful."


And if one more person asks me "What country is it again?" I will scream. Because, the people asking me are people that I would call friends. Persons that I have had conversation after conversation with about our daughter, the adoption process, and Ethiopia. Don't pretend to be interested, when you're obviously not, or you would know what country we're adopting from.

My other favorite comment is: "Oh, we need to have you a shower." No thank you. Too little, too late. Really. This isn't something new we're starting. It's a done deal. We're leaving this week to get our daughter! We have had to purchase everything for her from scratch by ourself. You could've offered when we got our referral, or you could've offered when we passed court. Is it because we're adopting that you've waited or is it because she's an older child? I don't know. Honestly, I don't. Is it because you want to wait and make sure that she's home before you waste your money? I think next time I'm invited to a baby shower, I'll say, "No, I think I'll wait to buy something after the baby's born and we know that it's alive and healthy before I spend money on a gift." But wait. We're home now for 6 weeks and no shower talk to speak of. I guess ten-year-old girls don't warrant a welcome like little babies.


"Too bad you couldn't have waited, you could just get a baby from Haiti now." AAAAaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh! This is one is so dumb on soooooooooooo many levels that I can't respond. I will just scream.

And since we've been home, I've heard questions like, "Now, how many actual children do you have?" Actual children?! What's that supposed to mean? I guess Libby's not actually a child?? Give me a break!

And just today, I heard "Wow, you're so brave." In what way? I really don't know. Most of this journey has been really scary. I read a great book, called "Do It Afraid" about a year ago and that has pretty much become my motto. I'm not brave at all, just persistent.

Aaahhhh. Deep breath. I've let it out and I feel better.