When they came in from playing, Libby said the most curious thing. "Birhan had fun playin' in the snow with Dad. Libby had fun the other day and today it was Birhan's turn." I asked her what she meant. She said, "You know, I'm just like Hannah Montana. "
So do we have innocent pretend play here? Is this an identity crisis in the making? Or typical identity questioning for an adopted child? After all, in a way she is like Hannah Montana. She's got two names and she's had two different lives that are very different from each other. But unlike Hannah, we're not trying to hide one of those identities.
We so want our daughter to have the "best of both worlds." We embrace Lib's Ethiopian heritage. Ethiopia is talked about daily in this house. I never want my daughter to lose that part of who she is. She will always be Ethiopian and I want her to be so proud of that. And she is, right now. But the reality is, we don't live in Ethiopia. We live in rural white America where even the nearest Ethiopian restaurant is 2 1/2 hours away. And yes, we have relationships with others who have adopted children from Ethiopia but is this the same as having friends and relationships with other adult Ethiopians? And even if we did have those relationships, that still doesn't change the fact that she had a very different life before coming to America. There are still family members and friends in Ethiopia that she misses terribly.
As a parent, and especially as an adoptive mama, I feel it is my job to help my child feel confident about who she is. Who she is as an Ethiopian. Who she is as an American. Who she is as a daughter and sister and cousin and friend. But most importantly, I want Libby to know who she is in Christ - a child of God, chosen by God, loved by God, forgiven by Him and empowered by the Holy Spirit! If she can be confident in these things, the rest will come naturally.
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