Will this be the year

that our family is finally complete? I think so! As we get closer to referral time, I'll admit I'm getting anxious. I've been thinking about Alison a lot the past few days, you know wondering if she's been born yet, wondering about her birth mother and hoping she's healthy and safe, dreaming about what it will be like when we get "the call" and knowing I'll be a total mess when that happens! I almost cry now just thinking about it.

But will we be prepared when the call comes? This is what makes me anxious! Will the nursery be ready? Will we have everything we need? Will we have the money we need to pay for the remaining adoption expenses and travel? I'm gonna confess: I had a mini-meltdown right before Christmas, worrying about this stuff. Charles' reply was simple - "You've got to have faith! Isn't that what you're always telling me?" Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's right. I'm the one always talking about the power of positive thinking... no negativity...the Lord will provide...there's power in words... do not be anxious about anything...and so forth. I may be able to talk the talk, but I've gotta walk the walk too!


So, I've been doing a lot of praying, studying, and reading scriptures on faith and I'm feeling better. I know deep in my heart that our desire to adopt came from the Lord and the call to Ethiopia also came from Him and I know that what the Lord orders, he pays for! But even though I "know" all these things, sometimes I suffer from temporary memory loss and have to be reminded.

Lord, I'm surrendering all my fears to you. Please take my fears and replace them with faith! When I start to doubt, please remind me that you are in control and that you will never leave me or forsake me. You began this work in us and I know that you will finish it. Thank you for loving us and our daughter and for bringing us together through the miracle of adoption!